I bet you’re sick of the Dallas Cowboys. I know I am. But nobody’s more sick of hearing about the Dallas Cowboys than the Dallas Cowboys. Because all the dudes in that locker room ever hear about is losing, Dez Bryant and Greg Hardy.

Bleacher Report’s Jason Cole spoke to several players and they’re fed up, saying that Dez has not handled the season “In a constructive way”  that he’s lashed out at the media, and that he “doesn’t know how to channel his frustration.”  

Yeah Dez Bryant has a ton of different talents – I wouldn’t say that constructive channeling of his frustration is among them.

But it should be. This is not a young, volatile Dez Bryant just breaking into the league. This is the best player on a team that badly needs leaders. And instead they’ve got Dez screaming F-bombs across a locker room and freaking out over what gets written about him.

Dez – who cares? You’re way too good of a player to be caught up in some column taking a run at you.

Why are you even reading it? You guys are 2-7, what, you think it’s going to be good? It’s like the quarterback who throws three picks and then checks his twitter mentions and gets bent that his fantasy owners hate him.

You know those guys who are holding you back when you’re berating the media? Dez, you should be THAT guy.

And the fact that Greg Hardy is such a terrible guy is the biggest reason Dez isn’t taking more flak for his act.

But obviously – his teammates are over it. And I get it. You’re having a nightmare season. You want to just come to work, keep a good attitude and cling on to that pipe dream about Tony Romo coming to the rescue.

But every 5 seconds you’re getting asked about Hardy missing meetings or Dez angry and screaming. I don’t expect anything but garbage from Hardy. But Dez should be better and smarter. And right now he’s not. And don’t think Romo coming back this week is going to make everything right. In fact, you think Dez is mad now, .. Wait til he gets his QB back and they STILL lose.

Dez needs to be better than this. Much better.

To quote every athlete and coach in the history of the world, just worry about what you can control. It’s like Dez has Google Alerts set up for anything that says his team or his name.

Quick question about the Cowboys. Which is more annoying: That sad little fable about them running the table and making the playoffs? OR The Weekly reports chronicling the many different ways they let Greg Hardy walk all over them? Not even close. It’s the zero formerly known as the Kraken.

But give Dallas this… They’ve finally starting to get a tad bit tired of him.

According to NFL.com –  the Cowboys front office is getting frustrated with his act. Hardy reportedly missed several meetings two weeks ago, was nearly late to practice, then was late to a pregame meeting last Saturday.

Apparently this has prompted everybody from teammates, to Jerry Jones to Jason Garrett to have talks with him.

Talks??? Ooooh – way to drop the heavy lumber on the dude.

Because I’m sure Jason Garrett stopping him in the hallway for 30 seconds to tell him he needs to make better choices will really drive the message home. Greg Hardy could body slam Garrett onto his gun bed, and coach would just say that Greg made a poor choice and will learn from it.

But a couple of other Cowboys won’t have the chance. Garrett reportedly cut two players last week, Christine Michael and Corey White, because they didn’t wear suits on a road trip.

So they were there, they were on time… But they weren’t in a tie. Don’t jerk with Coach Garrett! He runs a tight ship. These two guys had to be like – you’re cutting us and keeping THAT guy? Why, because we got busted by the Fashion Police?? He got arrested by the ACTUAL police!

But again, Dallas is really cracking down. Don’t believe me? Believe Jerry. He has his little chat with Hardy about his behavior, and came away saying that Hardy “has agreed to really work on it.”

Well, that’s all I need to hear. I’m sold.

Here’s what I’m sold on, Jer. That your Cowboys will rip off 9 in a row and get to the Super Bowl before Hardy works on himself for one second.

And I want to thank the Cowboys for bringing this bag into all of our households on Thursday. What a great day –  Turkey, Cranberries and Greg Hardy.

He can work on his behavior, the rest of us can work on explaining it to our families. Good looking out, Jerry.

Jerry Jones has a terrible team, and now he’s a bad impression of Charlton Heston. FROM MY COLD, DEAD HAAANDSSS!!!

Mr. Jones will not let this awful season go.

Tony Romo has nearly as many injuries as the team has wins, they’ve lost 8 of 9, but Jerr refuses to put Romo on Injured Reserve. You know, juuuuuuust in case they need him in playoffs because the Cowboys catch fire.

This is my favorite part – According to the Dallas Morning News, Romo’s timetable for a return is 8 weeks, so he could be back for the NFC title game.

Return for what? To watch it in Arizona or Carolina? There’s no way anybody in Dallas really thinks the Cowboys will be PLAYING in that game. Apparently they do. Romo will be in the title game for Dallas just like Johnny Manziel will start the Super Bowl for Cleveland.

Dallas needs less Tony Romo, more Axl Rose. It’s time to freaking die.

I don’t care how bad the NFC East is. Dallas is by far the worst team in it.

And this 2015 Cowboys season may be my least favorite from any team, any sport, ever. One embarrassment after another.

Dez Bryant getting punched in the face in training camp, Greg Hardy being heralded as a team leader, Brandon Weeden, the Underpants Bandit Joe Randle… And now this. Jerry Jones refusing to let go.

The body’s gone cold, Jer. And he still doesn’t care. He’s pulled out his teeth, gotten down on his knees and started giving that corpse mouth to mouth.

The only thing more pathetic than a coach burying the football is an owner who won’t bury this pathetic season. Put your guy on IR. Pull the plug. And somebody tear this cadaver from Jer’s hands.

You know I run this show with a few rules: One of them is Don’t Root. You’ll never hear me during a game week, just geeking on a team, laying out all the reasons I want them to win. But you’re going to hear it today. For one day only, I’m snapping that rule over my knee and rooting like Hell for the Redskins.

Because typically, I just root for something interesting. And there’s nothing LESS interesting than the 2015 Dallas Cowboys.

And despite losing 8 of their last 9 games, if they do Washington tonight… They will be!

I said it last week- it may be my least favorite season from any team, ever. Between Greg Hardy, and Joe Randle and all of Jerry Jones BS… The last thing any of us need is another week of Jerry’s hot breath telling us they’ve still got a chance. Or him accelerating Tony Romo’s rehab to push him out on the field to get hurt again. No, this thing needs to end.

And that’s why I’m rooting for the Redskins. I’m actually rocking a retro John Riggins jersey in studio right now, there’s a Janky Spanky fat head behind me, a Theismann bobble head in front of me, and my entire crew is dressed up in pig noses like the Hogettes.

It’s not that I want to see Washington win, it’s that I don’t want to hear nonsense from Dallas. Can’t have that. Can’t stomach that.

And I’ll answer Kirk Cousins question: YOU LIKE THAT? YOU LIKE THAT??  My man, you throw for 300 and a few tds to drop some dirt on that team… And I will LOVE that. Go get ’em fellas. Rome is Honking. Hail to the Redskins

Couple questions about that Monday nighter.

IS IT OVER YET? CAN WE COME OUT NOW?

There should have been an “All Clear” announcement once Dallas and Washington were off the field so the rest of us knew it was okay to watch our TVs again.

Because I’m not sure I’ve ever watched an uglier Monday Nighter than that.

Kirk Cousins said it was a like a roller coaster ride. Right- it made all of us sick.

If Cowboys-Redskins was a roller coaster ride – then we were all Fabio. Gushing blood from slamming our beaks into a bird for four quarters. 6 fumbles. 7 field goals. 10 punts. From 2 teams with 8 combined wins. That was no roller coaster. It was a train derailing.

That was the rare football game where you actually looked FORWARD to the commercials. It was that sloppy, that hacky.

I’d rather watch Flo or J.J. Watt chopping wood than Matt Cassel and Kirk Cousins trading incompletions. YOU HATE THAT? YOU HATE THAT? Hell yes I do, KC. We all did.

I’ve never seen such a close game, be such a horrible game. Has the network ever cut away from Monday Night Football to more compelling action somewhere else? I don’t even care that there wasn’t another NFL game.

ESPN should have cut to Spurs v. Sixers or Canucks v. Sabres. They both would have been way better than Cowboys-Redskins.

And don’t tell me that dog got awesome in the last 90 seconds. It didn’t get awesome. Players got embarrassed. DeSean Jackson almost pulled a Dan Orlovsky and ran out the back of the end zone on that punt return, then the Cowboys were too terrible to protect their lead, and then Washington was too awful to protect THEIR lead and lost.

The only guy in that stadium I’ll have a beer with is Cowboys kicker Dan Bailey. Because his 54 yard field goal ended a 4 hour waterboarding. Dan’s the man.

Stop telling me that game has “Stakes.” The only stake we wanted from that game was the one Bailey drove right into its heart.

I’ve cracked the Cowboys a lot this year. And that’s because they’ve begged for it by embarrassing themselves all year. If anything, I’ve gone easy on them.

But I do want to hype one of them. Jason Witten went over the 1,000 reception mark last night. He and Tony Gonzalez are the only tight ends to ever do it. Witten’s going to go to the Hall of Fame, and he should get in based purely on all the BS he’s gone through with that team over the years.

Has any player ever been around more carnival-act nonsense and drama than Jason Witten? Better question – Can you imagine the book this guy has in him? First he played under Bill Parcells. Then Keyshawn Johnson comes to town after Jon Gruden deactivated him in Tampa. Then T.O., then Cabo with Yoko Romo, then Dez, then Tank Johnson, then Pacman, then Josh Brent kills a teammate, then Joseph Randle, then Greg Hardy, and he never lashes out.

15 years of getting asked if his quarterback is a choker, his bat bleep owner, criminals in the locker room, sideline screaming match, secret meetings behind T.O.’s back… And hasn’t even said squat.

When he goes into the Hall, Canton should play the clip of J-Witt from 2015, the one where he’s doing his best to conduct a professional interview while one of this countless crazy teammates has a tirade a few feet away.

Witten is the guy just chilling out and playing checkers in the looney bin. He’s the normal hard-hat guy working with a bunch of NFL Kardashians.

Remember when The Osborne’s blew up MTV, and one of the daughters wanted nothing to do with the show… THAT’S HIM. 1,000 catches is enough for Canton, but 15 years for that team without having a meltdown is what should really get him in.

Unbelievable player; incredible teammate and the consummate pro. You should be proud of yourself Witt. I know I am.

It’s taken years, but Jerry Jones may finally be frustrated with his Ivy League lap dog.

Jason Garrett’s been Jerrah’s guy since he was Troy Aikman’s backup. He supports him. He hypes him. In the offseason he scratched him a fat extension.

But that was when JJ was drunk with victory. Great season, playoff run, Garrett’s our guy for the future-  hit him some of that oil money and save a seat on the Stripper Bus baby!

But apparently Jer has finally realized that Garrett isn’t exactly Jimmy Johnson.

In fact he may not even be Dave Campo. Because his team’s been terrible without Tony Romo. “I am stunned that we haven’t been able to win more games without Tony. And I would have thought that we could have coached it up enough. That we would not have lost those games without Romo.”

But Jer – you guys just won. At least give Garrett credit for beating Washington this week right? Nah he says that win was more about the players’ will than quote “tactical mastery.”  

Awesome. Kicked off the stripper bus and tossed under a greyhound bus.

And this isn’t Jerrah’s trademarked BS barking either. You find out about a coach when he loses his quarterback. How does he circle the wagons, can he adjust, does he have the tactical mastery?  Bill Belichick watched Tom Brady get his knee nuked, and then went on to win 11 games. And guess who he did it with, the same guy Garrett’s lost 5 of 6 with. Matt Cassel.

The Colts lost their quarterback, the Broncos benched theirs, the Texans CUT theirs. Those teams didn’t lose for 2 months straight. Dallas did.

Even with the best o-line in the league and a whole huddle of playmakers. Mr. Jones is right to finally crack his coach.

And if that Sock Puppet Jason Garrett thinks Jerrah’s bent now, wait till he finishes 4th in the worst NFC East ever.

I’ll say it for you, JJ: Garrett’s gonna feel lower than a crippled cricket’s ass.

Arguably, the greatest Cowboys quarterback ever says his old boss is about to make room on the stripper bus for a new backup.

Troy Aikman told SI “I believe, as I sit here today, either Johnny Manziel or Robert Griffin III will be in Dallas as a backup.”

You know that. That’s just destiny. I believed, as I sat here 3 years ago that JJ would get his hands on one of those guys eventually. They’re way too Texas and way too famous for him not to.

Of course they’re both badly damaged goods. You think Jerrah cares? They’re both highly marketable props.

RG3 rode the bench the entire year with the Redskins and then peaced out by leaving a diary entry in his locker. But who gives a damn, he won the Heisman in Texas and he’s really famous. Well, pretty famous. Sort of.

And Billy Manziel wore a fake mustache in Vegas and has shown up doing shots in bars the last couple weeks? Who gives a damn he won the Heisman in Texas and he’s still really famous.

The question is – how does JJ pick one of these guys? And the answer is – he doesn’t.

Get ’em both.

Roll cameras on the reality show and let these dudes compete for the #2 spot. Or don’t! Get them both, and then KEEP them both.

Sure, you want a reliable veteran who can count on to not get injured or liquored. And neither one of them fit that bill. But always remember… they both won the Heisman in Texas and are really famous!!

Of course, they probably can’t help you in a way… but bring them in, and people will look at you. And talk about you.

And isn’t that the most important thing, Jer?? Yes! Yes it is.

And getting just one of them isn’t good enough. Getting only one of these guys and watching the other play in another stadium would leave Jerrah lower than a crippled cricket’s ass. Getting both of them would feel like his best haul since the Herschel trade.

The inevitable Dez locker room explosion at these guys would be worth it. Fulfill your destiny. Do what you were born to do, Jerry. Go get Billy and Bobby.

Info & Stats: Hall of Fame Wideout and NFL Network Analyst

All Topics: Radio Row | Team Irvin putting a beatdown on Team Rice | Jerry Rice is the greatest of all time | Being a poor loser | His time with Dallas | Training with the team | Not separating himself from the team | Brandon Marshall | Johnny Manziel | Cleveland not wanting Manziel to be successful | Manziel going to Vegas | Social media | Dez Bryant |

Feb 3^rd 2016

Michael on Jerry Rice: “He is the greatest of all time.”

Jan 14^th 2014

All Topics: Work at the NFL Network | Pats vs. Broncos | Peyton Manning’s legacy | Manning needing to win Sunday | If Tom beats Peyton again | Peyton is a historian of the game | Wants Wes Welker to win a ring | Brady losing target after target | Brady’s journey | The Pats running the ball last week | Bill Belichick is brilliant | Thinks Denver wins Sunday | Seahawks vs. 49ers | Seahawks lack of explosion against the Saints | Anquan Boldin |

Michael on how important Sunday’s AFC Championship game is to Peyton Manning: “It’s crucial to his legacy.”

Jan 10^th 2013

All Topics: Junior Seau suffering from C.T.E. | Junior’s situation is sad | Junior’s family | How football is played | Depression | Medical situations | The mind | Life after football | Michael wanting his family to pay attention to his behavior | When he injured his knee it led him into depression | His mother having Dementia | Finding an identity after football | Its not simple leaving football | NFL Playoffs | Green Bay vs. San Francisco | Packers getting healthy | Randall Cobb being a 4 down player | Baltimore vs. Denver | Joe Flacco | Anquan Boldin | Boldin only getting his second 100 yard game of the season last week | Dez Bryant | Dez’s natural talent |

Michael’s thought process when he retired from the NFL: “I got to identify who I am again.”

Info & Stats: Dallas Cowboys Tight End

All Topics: Radio Row | Disappointing 2015 Season | Tough to overcome Tony Romo injury | Romo is a special player | Reaching the 1,000 career catching mark | Leadership | Article about him being the trash talker on the team | Playing with Terrell Owens | TO’s work ethic | TO’s deserving of the Hall of Fame

Feb 4^th 2016

Jason on Tony Romo: “He’s a special player.”

Oct 1^st 2013

All Topics: Tough loss to San Diego | Needing to move on quickly | Learning from our mistakes in San Diego | Denver coming to town this weekend | Peyton Manning | Trying to keep Manning off the field | Denver’s offense being powerful | Michael Irvin’s comments on Tony Romo being the best qb in the NFC | Romo’s criticism | Quarterbacks are always going to get heat | Needing to win a championship | Doesn’t think the noise ever gets to Romo | Jason Garrett | Garrett understanding how the NFL works | His records | Watching Bill Parcells being inducted into the Hall of Fame | Parcells story |

Jason on teammate Tony Romo: “I think he’s an elite quarterback, I think he’s proven that.”

Feb 03, 2011:

Jason on the Cowboys not playing in the Dallas Super Bowl: “It’s a huge disappointment.”

Let’s check what’s crackin down at the NFL owner’s meetings.

Pats aren’t going to stay long. Chop blocks are now fully illegal. And some old Texas windbag says pro football causing CTE is a buncha hogwash.

There are a lot of old folks who aren’t as sharp as they used to be down in Boca Raton, but you could pluck any 90-year old off the shuffleboard pitch at the country club, ask him to break down the Coach-ella lineup – and he’d come off more coherent than Jerry Jones flapping his lips about brain trauma.

Ol Jer says there’s no relationship between massive athletes slamming their heads into one another and CTE. “No, that’s absurd. There’s no data in any way that creates a knowledge. There’s no way that you could have made a comment that there is an association and some type of assertion. ..Medicine is evolving. I grew up being told that aspirin was not good.” 

Well that’s because when you grew up, “health care” was the local witch doctor coming to your stage coach to mash up some roots and put fresh leeches on your legs any time you had a headache.

Jerrah says we need more research. And it’s like he stole the teleprompter script from every speech every Big Tobacco exec has ever given. Deny the link. Point out that some people who smoked didn’t actually get lung cancer. Say we need more research. And keep cashing checks.

Paging Dr. Jones – the NFL’s VP of Health and Safety Jeff Miller was admitting there’s a link, just over a week ago. Research that.

Who do you believe – that guy, whose entire job is based around the safety of players, and who finally answered the question everyone has been asking for years. Or the guy who declared “you won’t see a more gifted passer” than Brandon Weeden? There’s no data? Boston University studied 94 ex-nfl players and found NINETY! Of them with CTE. You’ve got ex-players taking their own lives. You have current players deciding to retire. And maybe JJ should do the same. Because what’s “absurd” is the idea that CTE and football absolutely do not go together.

Frankly- Jerrah’s take on CTE is so bad; I’m concerned that he might have it.

Bottom line, he’s right when he says we need more research. We do. And there are many more questions that need to be answered. But pretty much everything Jerry said is, to use his own word, absurd

On the eve of the NFL Draft, NFL Network analyst Mike Mayock published his highly anticipated final mock draft. On Thursday, he joined The Jim Rome Show and elaborated on some of his more intriguing predictions, like the Dallas Cowboys using the fourth overall pick on Ohio State running back, Ezekiel Elliott.

“I think if you’re going to take a tailback high up in the first round, you’re going to have to commit philosophically,” Mayock said. “And the nice part about a Dallas-Elliott marriage if it happens is Dallas is already committed. Two years ago DeMarco Murray had 449 touches. They’ve got an offensive line that’s in the prime. They know what they’re doing in the run game.”

In 2014 DeMarco Murray led the NFL in rushing, and Mayock thinks Elliott could be an even better back.

“I think Ezekiel Elliott’s ceiling is higher than DeMarco Murray. I think he is a better running back,” Mayock said. “And I think in addition to the run game he catches the football, and he’s the best pass protecting tailback in the draft. When you add it all up, I think he helps Tony Romo at age 36, and all of a sudden they look like the Dallas Cowboys of 2014 that were a 12-4 team.”

Mayock also talked about one of the more polarizing prospects in this year’s draft, Ole Miss defensive tackle Robert Nkemdiche.

“He’s got two red flags, both significant,” Mayock said. “[At] Alabama he’s Superman, [at] Arkansas I can’t find him. He flashes in certain games, and then disappears for long periods of time. So there’s inconsistency on tape, and there are red flags off the field. Now, nobody denies his talent. He’s the most talented, pure defensive tackle in this draft.”

The former defensive back, says there are certain coaches who will take a shot on Nkemdiche.

“I played for one of them, Bill Parcells. In this particular group of coaches, I think Pete Carroll has always shown an affinity for that kind of kid,” Mayock said. “I also think that Rex Ryan likes that kind of kid. In my mock, I put him at 19. He should be, from a talent perspective, a Top 10 pick. I don’t believe he will be, but at some point in the first round, he’s going to go, and he’s going to go to a team that believes it can get the most out of him.”

It’s come to this, we can’t go a day without an athlete getting zapped by social media. We can’t go an hour. Now they’re even getting stung while they’re asleep. A picture hit the internet of a woman in bed, shooting a selfie, while Ezekiel Elliott appears to be sleeping behind her in the background.

She apparently snap chatted it, with the caption “Dallas Cowboys Newest runnning back Ezekiel Elliott.”

It’s super shady, and I don’t’ know exactly what happened.’ But I know this, if this DID happen – it’s not the first time an athlete’s spent the night with somebody and they’ve gone public with it once he falls asleep.

Julian Edelman had the same thing go down, the caption under him sleeping was “Just (f*cked) Edelman. No lie.” No lie. No class. No respect. And no surprise.

What – somebody who wants to sleep with famous athletes is going to do it… And NOT get credit on the Internet for it? That’s the whole reason they’re after it. James Harden got the same treatment.

Remember the golden age when they only did it for money? The good old days when an athlete could pass out in a hotel room, and they would only steal his watch worth 20 thousand dollars? Now they’d rather have the followers. Clicks are the new currency.

Standard op, the moment the athlete passes out- the camera comes out.

And Bears tackle Kyle Long is fired up about it. He launched a tweet rant when he saw the Zeke pic “Nobody in our generation can be trusted! Everyone trying to use each other for gain. It’s gross. It’s not attractive and it’s not gonna stop  As an athlete I’m merely a trophy on the wall of an avg female. It’s really saddening that this is the culture we live in now … If you’re in a position of power or recognition you will be poached like an elephant.. You meet someone nice, take them to dinner have great conversation and they ask – “hey smile!” – I’m like “what’s that?” – “snapchat!”… Rule #1 don’t sleep over”

Everything he’s saying is true. Especially the last part. You can’t get your picture taken asleep if you don’t fall out.

Why don’t they teach that in the Rookie Symposium. Save your money. Don’t do drugs. And don’t pass out after wrestling with some woman you don’t even know. Somebody get a 5-hour for my man Zeke. And somebody write Cris Carter a new speech.

Hey Rooks: Have a fall guy, and don’t fall asleep. If you’re going to go there, just make sure you don’t nap there. Or you’ll get snap-chatted or insta’ed or even tweeted.

We all laughed when we heard that Darren McFadden fractured his elbow in a quote “Home accident” over Memorial Day weekend. And then we all tried to guessed what it was: he got drunk and fell down the stairs? He hopped on a hover board and ate it hard? With this guy’s injury history, a home accident could be anything. But it turns out the dude got hurt trying to be a hero.

McFadden busted himself up, attempting to save his phone. Cowboys running backs coach Gary Brown told the tale “He was trying to keep his iPhone, his brand new one, from hitting the ground and cracked his elbow.”

I’ll just say it – this changes everything. This was not a stupid moment. This was a human moment.

Because no human alive can drop a brand new iPhone and not sell-out trying to save it.

Don’t tell me he’s rich and can buy a new one. That wouldn’t fly through your head when that pristine, flawless brand new screen is plummeting towards the concrete. That thing is your baby.

Even if you’re not a professional athlete- you turn into one when you drop your phone. Who hasn’t instantly become Dominik Hasek and made a clutch kick-save to keep their phone from banging screen-first into the linoleum.

Who hasn’t left their feet and laid out like Desmond Howard to save one? I’ve seen dudes drop their phone mid-call in the restroom, and throw their hip into it just to save it from splashing in the urinal.

When that phone falls, time, fame, and money all disappear. You do what you have to do to save it.

A billionaire could get his elbow bumped on the deck of his yacht and dive off a 200 million dollar boat to save a 500 dollar phone.

Darren McFadden has fumbled 17 times in his career. And I bet he never tried to recover the ball on any of them harder than he tried to save that phone.

Let me remind you: my man left it all on the field for a brand new IPhone S. That’s not a some stubby ol 4 we’re talking about.

The only flack Dmac should get for this… Is a bit of the college freshman fumbling treatment. He needs to carry his phone at all times, workout with his phone, sleep with this phone, and all his teammates should try to slap it out of his hands in the hallways just to re-teach him proper phone security.

Personally, never mind his fractured elbow, I want an injury status on that iPhone. Did he save it or not? Sure, he had to have surgery on his elbow. But if it saved him from having to hit the Genius Bar, Darren McFadden is a hero.

Hate to say it, but apparently Darren McFadden needs to hear it: HONESTY IS NOT ALWAYS THE BEST POLICY.

Not when it comes to injuries. And especially when it comes to D-Mac’s injuries. Because we know he’s going to suffer one. Or several. It’s just a matter of when and a question of how, they happen.

As you’ll recall, McFadden broke his elbow over Memorial Day weekend, and everyone promptly broke their D-Mack injury jokes.

Nothing surprising here. Again, the question was, when did it happen. Memorial Day Weekend. And how did it happen. You’ll also recall his running back coach saying he injured himself attempting to make a diving save on his brand new iPhone. Now that’s different. You hear that a guy destroyed his elbow trying to save his new IPhone and you didn’t want to crack him, you want to glorify him. That doesn’t make him a dummy, it makes him a hero.

The second an iPhone 6 starts to succumb to gravity and plummets towards the concrete, the human brain sends a signal to save it. The body can’t resist it. You sell out. You go like a tool at the ballpark chasing a foul ball: Side-stepping kids, plowing over old folks, dog-eat-dog. We’ve all done it.

So McFadden’s injury wasn’t comical. It was relatable. For once, people were killing him for getting hurt, they were practically congratulating him.

And then he went and ruined it. DMC told the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette that he actually just slipped on some wet cement. “I just slipped down and landed on my elbow. My phone was in my hand, and so people kind of put that story out.”

No Darren, “people” didn’t put that out there. Your own position coach put that story out. Because he was trying to throw a block and open up a hole for you, my man. But you ran away from it and got de-cleated.

This was a valiant, every man injury. It was a casualty. Now it’s just comedy. All those jokes everybody had ready? They’re back. And they’re right.

An NFLer just straight up slips on a pool deck during a party and injures himself? That’s something you worry about your grandpa doing over the 4th of July. Not your running back. Way to be an athlete there, Bo Jackson.

USC Trojan Josh Shaw telling the world he was trying to save his nephew in a pool, is shaking his head about you admitting you just straight up ate it next to one.

It was a lot cooler when everybody thought DMC was trying to make a heroic kick save on his 6. Now we know he just klutzed and fell on his ass.

Sometimes it’s best to just leave the lie alone. DMAC could have saved face and gone to his grave saying that he was saving his phone. You see, sometimes it really is ok to lie. And in this case, it was mandatory. Believe me no one is giving you any credit for owning this, Darren.

In this case, the truth is actually worse than the lie.

I think it’s already over. Best headline of 2016 goes to former Dallas Cowboy Joseph Randle.

Of course. This guy’s churned out some gems over the years. “Cowboys running back busted for stealing underwear and cologne.”

“Joseph Randle offers police officer $100 for massage after arrest.” Yo Joe, you’re getting booked. You’re not at Burke Williams.

So how does he beat those? Like a frat bro. Check this headline: “JOSEPH RANDLE FOUND MENTALLY COMPETENT TO STAND TRIAL IN BEER PONG ASSAULT CASE.”

Hey man, what are you in for? Breaking and entering. How about you? Burglary. Yo new guy, what are you in for? BEER PONG ASSAULT.

Hey at least Randle didn’t make it worse by tacking on a Flip Cup Battery charge. Or an Ice Luge Larceny. Instead a few months back he allegedly tried to run down some people with his car after a disagreement over beer pong.

I wonder what his attorney’s advising him. What does he tell the judge? Your honor, my opponent clearly had his elbow over the table, and I also suspect he wasn’t filling his beers all the way to the top during our match. Those are violations of the Pong Code and as such I plead not guilty.

Good luck with that Joe.

Next time you play some pong, just do what losing pongers always do- finish your beers like a loser, get back in line and get ready to get housed again. Didn’t you used to be the starting running back for the Dallas Cowboys? Now you can’t even out pong some fratboys. And personally, I liked you better when you were more about stealing English Leather than running over Sig Eppers.

The best thing going for Johnny Manziel is Joseph Randle. Because Joey Beerpong’s act is making Johnny Football’s look like Eli Manning’s.

What did I tell you about Joe Randle? That guy can always raise the bar. Always up the ante. Give him any headline, and he can top it.

Joe Randle steals underwear and musk. Think that’s bad, how about the time, Joe Randle offered a cop 100 bucks for a massage. Or when he tried to run over people after beer pong dispute.

All great Joe Randle moments, but none as good as the new champion – Joe Randle allegedly threatened to murder a police deputy who wouldn’t give him his phone call.

According to the affidavit, while incarcerated after his most recent arrest, Randle said to the deputy “I will kill you. I swear on my life and everything I have I will kill you when I get out.” He swore on everything that he had?! Really Joe?!

At this point, what exactly do you have? What are you swearing on – an old pair of Jockeys and some Drakkar Noir? Randle was just declared mentally fit to stand trial for trying to go Smoke Stewart on those beer pongers, so maybe this was his attempt to seem like a loon.

You know – like the dude who thinks he can get out of jury duty by saying a bunch of jacked up, judgmental, racist things during the screening? It doesn’t work. And neither does saying you’re going to kill a deputy when you get out.

The only thing Randle has killed is his shot at ever playing pro football again. He’s not getting his phone call in the Pen. And he’s not receiving one from any GMs.

The only thing J-Ran has left at this point is outdoing himself. And I know he will. He’s just getting started. Ripping some Fruit of the Loom and threatening to kill a deputy are just his pre-game. Joe Randle is the Joe Montana of jacked up headlines. And I swear on my lite and everything I have, he will beat this one.

I love that for home games this Fall, Alfred Morris is going to drive to a billion dollar stadium in a 2-dollar car. If I’m talking about Morris’s Mazda 626 named “Bentley”- you probably worry that the old girl has finally died.

It’s like seeing a celebrity name on twitter. Oh no- not Bentley!

We first found out about Bentley a few years back, when a guy who was second in the league in rushing in 2012, was rolling a whip from 1991. And she’s still kicking. And we’re still learning things about her. Like the fact that Al Morris bought Bentley from his pastor…. For 2 dollars!

Not 2 thousand. Not even 2 hundred. 2 bucks for an entire car. And 2 questions: Why not just GIVE it to the kid for free. And how did that negotiation go for Bentley: You can take her off my hands for 10 bucks. I’ll give you 2. Okay, fine – 8 bucks. I’ll give you 2. 3 bucks final offer! I’ll give you 2, you give me the keys. Got change for a 5?

That’s a legendary story. At this point, striking that deal for Bentley is more iconic than the Cowboys cutting the deal for Herschel Walker.

I wonder if Morris can find somebody to sell him a 6 dollar house. And I just want to know more. There needs to be a Behind The Music and 30 for 30 about Bentley.

And what needs to stop is people saying –  Enough’s enough with that POC. You have a 3.5 million dollar deal – at least upgrade to a Dodge Stratus or something dude. Hell no. Never. And neither would you.

Tell me you don’t’ wish you still had your first ride? We all do. I would roll my XR4Ti to work on Fridays right now if I could, but I could barely get it to the office 30 years ago. Bentley is still a runner. That’s the kind of value you get for 2 bones.

Morris worked that pastor worse than Bob Bonilla worked the Mets. It’s my favorite iconic American car.

You can have your General Lee, The Batmobile, The DeLorean. You can have Herbie. Give me Bentley. Jerry Jones probably dropped a million bucks on his stripper bus. But the official car of America’s Team is a 2-buck Bentley.

Cowboys’ rookie qb Dak Prescott went 10 for 12 for 139 yards and 2 touchdowns in the first preseason game and had Cowboy fans buzzing. After he chased that with 199 yards and 2 touchdowns in Week 2, they were peaking. To the point that some lunatics were even running with the idea that the Cowboys would be better off with Dak than Tony Romo. Well, now you’ve got your wish.

Because, stop me if you’ve heard this before, Tony Romo is out for up to 10 weeks with a broken back suffered in that game against Seattle. Brutal. And sad.

There’s no doubt his mind is willing, but at this point, you’ve got to seriously wonder if his body is able to hold up in a NFL season. Because he hasn’t played a full season since 2012.

And no, Cowboy fan, get off Cliff Avril’s back. He didn’t do anything wrong. That wasn’t a cheap shot. He wasn’t penalized for the hit. Nor should he be. Unless the league snuck in a you’re not allowed to touch Tony Romo rule. And given this guy’s age, and the way he’s breaking down, I’m not even sure that rule would help him. That hit wasn’t dirty. They both started their move at the same time. He’s going full speed, he’s not stopping himself at that split second, nor should he.

The problem wasn’t Avril’s hit, its Romo’s body. He’s 36. He keeps getting hurt. There’s the broken finger, broken left collarbone, ruptured disk, a broken rib and a punctured lung, two transverse process fractures in his back, a broken left collarbone again, breaking the collarbone for a third time, and now the busted back.

So Romo could be out for up to 10 weeks, but at least he knows the team has his back. Actually, no, they don’t. Cowboys COO Stephen Jones told MMQB: “I can’t imagine a scenario where Tony’s not our quarterback when he’s ready. But things happen. You know that. You know what happened to Bledsoe and Brady. I’m sure Tony’s aware of that. But the reality is, Tony’s going to come back for us and play great, we believe.”

What a great quote. He starts out by saying “I can’t imagine a scenario where Tony’s not our quarterback when he’s ready” and then completely imagines a scenario where Romo isn’t their quarterback when he’s ready. Not only imagines it, but points a time where it actually happened in the past. But then says, I’m sure he’ll be back and be great. Uhh, gee, thanks. Romo’s got to be pumped as he throws on his back brace to hear that his boss is already talking about Bledsoe and Brady.

Classic Cowboys. Already making passive Brady references when talking about Dak Prescott, who’s yet to throw a pass in a real NFL game.

Just like Stephen’s dad, Jerry declaring last year that “you won’t see a more gifted passer” than Brandon Weeden. It’s never that their guys are decent or they have a shot. It’s always that they’re the most gifted passers or they could be the next Tom Brady.

As for Prescott, he’s looked good in preseason, but who knows really how good he is. I know he’s not Tony Romo, but he can’t be Weeden, Matt Cassel, or Kellen Moore, right? Because that was the three-headed monster that led Dallas to a 1-11 record without Romo last year.

Let me say that again: 1-11. Jason Garrett and the Cowboys didn’t take nearly enough heat for that disaster. They went from 12-4 the year before with Romo to practically the 2008 Lions without him. And Jason Garrett still has a job? Jerry Jones ran off Jimmy Johnson after winning two Super Bowls, but JG still has a gig after going 1-11 without Romo last year.

It just goes to show, if Jerry Jones likes you, or you don’t push back when he interferes, you have lifetime job security.

But even Jerruh has to have his limits. And if Romo is out ten weeks and Garrett goes 1-9 during that time, again, even Jerruh will probably break him off. At least he better.

I’m not looking to get anyone fired, but they shouldn’t go from a bona fide Super Bowl threat with Romo to the worst team in the league without him. Not with those weapons and that offensive line. No one is saying Garrett has to make a deep playoff run with Romo, but he can’t end up with the first pick in the draft without him.

Coach em up, Red. Coach em up.

Info & Stats:  Dallas Cowboys Cornerback

All Topics: Win over Washington in Week 2 | Playing for Rod Marinelli | Grew up as Cowboys fan | Never missing a game | Playing through pain | Marijuana use for pain | Dak Prescott’s poise | Week 1 interception

Sept 23^th 2016

Brandon on playing for the team he grew up loving: “Blessed.”