Big surprise here. Good ol’ Jerrah Jones is sticking up for Zeke Elliott in his alleged domestic violence case. While the NFL hasn’t completed its investigation, Jones apparently finished his and apparently has cleared Elliott.

Jerrah told ESPN.com: “My opinion is there’s not even an issue over he said/she said. There’s not even an issue there.” This was after he said: “I have reviewed everything and there is absolutely nothing — not one thing — that had anything to do with domestic violence.”

Nice to see Jerrah running his own internal investigation into the case. Except you have to wonder exactly what his investigation consisted of?  Logging onto NFL.com and seeing that Zeke Elliott rushed for over 1,600 yards and 15 touchdowns and deciding nothing to see here. Ya’ll can stop digging and just keep moving.

I’ve got a question: are you surprised?

This is the same crotchety old man who defended that human piece of garbage Greg Hardy as quote “leader.”  Arguably even more asinine, the same old dude who …  when describing Brandon Weeden said: “He’s a thing of beauty on throwing a football. His passing motion and his arm, frankly, you won’t see a more gifted passer.”

No offense to Brandon Weeden, but dude could be the last living organism on Earth, and he STILL wouldn’t be the most gifted passer.

Look, I’m not saying Elliott is guilty of what he has been accused of or not.  I don’t know if he did it or not. I’m just saying I’d really like to hear it from someone other than the accused and the guy paying the accused.  Especially since the guy paying the accused is the same guy who ran off Jimmy Johnson saying there were 500 other coaches who could have won a Super Bowl with the team they had.

Then again, it doesn’t really matter what we’re all saying, as long as we’re talking about you and your team, eh Jerr.

Lucky Whitehead continues to be off-season’s weirdest story and it just keeps getting weirder, previously on “The Summer of Lucky Whitehead,” we learned that Rodney “Lucky” Whitehead had been charged in a Virginia shoplifting case and there was a warrant out for his arrest.

In the wake of that news, the Cowboys released him. But, in a dramatic plot twist, it turned out that Whitehead was incorrectly charged and that the real shoplifter was someone who claimed to be Lucky Whitehead, but really wasn’t Lucky Whitehead. FREAKING DRAMA!

But the Cowboys didn’t change their decision and Whitehead was understandably irritated. He told the Dallas Morning News: “Let’s not sugarcoat anything. I was pretty much being called a liar.”

Granted it is pretty crazy that someone was arrested for shoplifting, pretended to be Lucky Whitehead and the police in Virginia believed it. And the Cowboys acted on it. But Rodney feels like the team never helped him out: “As far as the whole situation went down, I was blindsided. I didn’t know about a warrant that came about in the first place. Clearly because I wasn’t the person arrested. The head person [in the Cowboys organization] I told, no one backed me up. No one had my back in the whole situation. I knew about it at what? 12:45. By 2:30 I’m released.” 

So then came Jason Garrett’s press conference. Finally, we were going to get some answers about what was going with this whole situation. Or not. Let’s just say Jason Garrett’s interest in answering questions about Lucky Whitehead were lower than a crippled cricket’s ass.

He lasted three minutes at the press conference, but what a press conference it was. Here are the highlights.

That repeated answer would have been good if the questions were: when did you make the decision?  “Yesterday we made a decision that we deemed to be in the best interest of the Dallas Cowboys. We’re standing by that decision and we’re going to move on.”

Or, Coach, did you deem that decision to be in the best interest of the Dallas Cowboys? “Yesterday we made a decision that we deemed to be in the best interest of the Dallas Cowboys. We’re standing by that decision and we’re going to move on.”

Except those weren’t the questions. But he just kept repeating that statement over and over again.

Did you catch the one reporter asking: “Do you have some people working for the Dallas Cowboys that are just too stupid to work for this team?”

STRAIGHT FREAKING FIRE. That’s bringing the heat, Bobby Ramos Bottom Line style.

But even that wouldn’t rattle Garrett. He had his answer and he was sticking to it, no matter what.

Forget the comparisons to Marshawn and Belichick, Garrett skipped over them and went straight to Rasheed Wallace’s epic “both teams played hard” presser from back in the day.

Except at least Rasheed’s answer was fun. This was just boring and stupid.

I get that you don’t want to talk about cutting Rodney Whitehead, but when you cut a guy for being arrested and it turns out that it was a mistake, you kind of have to talk about it. And I know that he wanted to keep repeating that the team made the decision, but if they made the decision with the wrong information, well, what do you do then? Repeating the same answer isn’t good enough. Not only not good enough, but completely lame.  Embarrassing.  And insulting.

Jerry Jones also took a moment for the media and that was even weirder than Garrett.

Uhhh, what exactly are you talking about? I know that in the past Jerrah and the Cowboys have backed guys up and they’re doing it right now with a number of guys on that roster, no names mentioned, rhymes with Bezekiel Belliott, but they didn’t back Whitehead to a fault. They didn’t even come close. Instead, they canned him for something that he didn’t even do. And then didn’t want to explain it.

Listen… I’m not looking  to circumcise a mosquito here, but this isn’t on the media. The media didn’t cut Whitehead. The team did. And then didn’t want to own it when they got it wrong. Teams want players to own up to mistakes, but when they make one of their own, they really don’t want to talk about it.

And if the argument was that getting rid of Whitehead wasn’t really about this, it was about other things, then he should’ve been released when other things happened. It can’t be the final straw if the final straw never happened. You made a mistake. Admit it. Own it. And then we’ll all move on. We’ll all forgive the mistake. As long as you own it. And they haven’t.

The NFL’s investigation into Ezekiel Elliott’s domestic violence allegations had been going on so long it was hard to believe that it was ever going to end. But it did on Friday, with the announcement that Elliott will be suspended for six games. That’s a stunner to a team coming off a 13-win season, but if your first reaction is what Elliott allegedly beating a woman on multiple occasions means for the Cowboys backfield and your fantasy football draft, I strongly suggest you sit this one out.

On the one hand, six games is following the league’s policy for domestic violence. Yet other players, like Josh Brown, have received less…much less than that for domestic violence incidents, so it was always a crapshoot to try to predict how the league would respond to Elliott’s situation.

And what they did was drop a serious punishment one of the league’s brightest young stars, the biggest team in the league, and one of the most powerful owners in the league. Especially given that said owner spent month after month telling everyone this was a non-issue.

Back in March, Jerry Jones said, “There is just nothing.” During the Hall of Fame game, he said, “the domestic violence is not an issue” and that he didn’t anticipate any suspension. Well, according to the league, there was a lot more than nothing and it definitely was an issue.

As always, the question is: does the punishment fit the crime? And particularly in this case where prosecutors have not pursued criminal charges. And the answer is: if what the League says is true, then he truly deserves that suspension.

According to the league, there were three incidents within a week last year involving Elliott and a woman. One on July 17^th when Elliott attacked Tiffany Thompson at the Canvasback Lane apartments in Columbus, Ohio, which resulted in injuries to Ms. Thompson’s arms, neck, and shoulders.

Two days later, the league says there was an altercation where Elliott used force and left Ms. Thompson with injuries to her face, arms, wrists, and hands.

And two days after that, another incident that left her with injuries to her face, neck, arms, knee, and hips.

And there was photographic evidence that the league felt was compelling.

Elliott is expected to appeal the suspension and his representatives said in a statement that “The NFL’s findings are replete with factual inaccuracies and erroneous conclusions and it ‘cherry picks’ so called evidence to support its conclusion while ignoring other critical evidence.” 

Maybe they’re right. Maybe there was nothing there and maybe that’s why Jerry Jones was so confident that nothing would happen. Maybe the league got this one wrong. They don’t exactly have a flawless record when it comes to handing out justice.

Elliott’s side has argued that the case isn’t what it appears and that there were other things at play, but Peter Harvey, the former Attorney General for New Jersey, who led the NFL’s chief advisors of its investigation, wasn’t having that in a conference call, “The suggestion was made, maybe someone else did it. Except there was never someone else who was revealed and identified as someone who would have done it … What the NFL’s investigators learned is that on at least four nights Mr. Elliott and Ms. Thompson stayed together in the same apartment in the same bedroom. So the injuries did not just — at least in my judgment — magically appear on her body. So while alternative theories are interesting, in my judgment they have to be supported by evidence, and that was lacking in this particular situation.”

I don’t know what did or didn’t happen because I wasn’t at the Canvasback Lane apartments last summer and I wasn’t part of the investigation, but if the league is grasping at straws, they’re doing it pretty confidently. They believed Ms. Thompson’s version over Mr. Elliott’s version and they did so to the extent that they didn’t reduce the six-game suspension for a superstar player to something less right out of the gate.

As for Elliott himself, he tweeted a statement that included in part, that he was “surprised and disappointed” by the suspension. And I’ll be real. I’m not surprised that he’s surprised by the suspension. Because I’m not sure he gets it. Not after what he’s done while he’s been under investigation.

The NFL pointed out that Elliott’s act at a St. Patrick’s Day parade this year, where he yanked down a woman’s top was “inappropriate and disturbing” and “reflected a lack of respect for women.” Truth. That’s inappropriate and disturbing at any time, but even more so when you’re already under investigation for domestic violence. That doesn’t sound to me like a guy who gets it and has changed his ways.

Again, I don’t know what this guy did or didn’t do. But I don’t need to know to know that this cat just doesn’t get it. Didn’t get it at Ohio State and still doesn’t get it in Dallas.  Because he had issues then and he obviously has them now. And if a six game suspension doesn’t get this dude’s attention, nothing will.

I know it’s hard to be young, rich and famous, when you’re a target and so many people are coming at you. I get it. And lot of people can’t handle it. That’s the problem. You’re one of them. So just stay home.

Depending on your appeal, you may have just thrown away six games of your career; and you’re killing your team. Wake the hell up, before you do any more damage to your career or the team that’s paying you and counting on you.

On Friday, the NFL announced its conclusion to the investigation into the domestic violence allegations against Ezekiel Elliott. And the decision was a six-game suspension.

Yesterday, Elliott officially appealed that suspension.

And today there’s a report from Charles Robinson of Yahoo Sports that the accuser, Tiffany Thompson, “admitted to NFL investigators having a text exchange in which she discussed leveraging sex videos featuring her and Elliott for money from the player.”

According to Yahoo, the September 2016 exchange is part of a 160-page report that was prepared by NFL investigators as part of their process for looking into the domestic violence allegations. The report laid out that “The League’s forensic experts’ also recovered evidence from Ms. Thompson’s phone that she had registered an email address titled, “ezekielelliott sex vids” during the month of August, 2016.” And that “when Ms. Thompson was asked about this by the League’s investigators, she stated that she did have sex tapes of her and Mr. Elliott on her phone and she did open the email account but she denied doing so to blackmail Mr. Elliott.”

The text exchange with the friend was also included as Exhibit 74 in the appendix that accompanied the report and is as follows:

[Thompson]: What if I sold mine and Ezekiel’s sex videos

[Friend]: We’d all be millionaires

[Friend]: We could black mail him w that

[Thompson]: I want to bro

[Friend]: Let’s do it

[Thompson]: Scared

[Friend]: EXPLETIVE

[Friend]: I’d be like look give me 10k or I’ll just sell our sex videos for the same amount flat

[Friend]: Me and my friends tryna go on vacation and get boob jobs

(the report notes a pair of blank texts)

[Thompson]: 10k Bitch I want 20k

[Thompson]: Go big or go home

[Friend]: That’s fine too

There’s a lot to unpack here, starting with the fact that this text exchange in September 2016 does not mean that Elliott didn’t assault her on three occasions in July 2016. And that the league knew about it and still came down on Elliott with a 6-game suspension could be an indication that the evidence of domestic violence overwhelms this exchange and the questions it raises.

But at the same time, you know that Elliott’s camp will reportedly use that exchange to question the motives and accuracy of the accuser’s statements when it came to the abuse. And they will try to hammer away at that during the appeal process to get his punishment reduced. It doesn’t look great when the primary witness to the events is also setting up an email account titled “ezekielelliott sex vids.” 

But at the same time, a lot of Ezekiel Elliott’s off-field actions don’t look good at all, either. And setting up that email account in August does not mean that she wasn’t assaulted in July. One does not rule out the other.

Honestly, the only thing I know at this point is that we don’t know enough. We don’t know enough about what happened last July, or last August, or last September. The league conducted a long investigation and compiled a 160-page report. They knew about the text exchange and the fact that the accuser at least seems to have given some level of thought to blackmailing Elliott.

And knowing that, they still decided to punish Elliott. At the same time, to say the league has been inconsistent and sometimes baffling on the topic of discipline would be an understatement.

Here’s the only thing we do know – this case didn’t end with the NFL handing down a six-game suspension. And as long as that investigation took, it still feels like we’re nowhere near the end of this story. And it’ll probably get uglier before it gets finished.

So if Elliott or any of you were looking for closure after more than a year, you’re not obviously not going to get it. If anything, this whole thing is just getting started.

Remember a couple weeks back when the league announced that they had finished their investigation into the Ezekiel Elliott domestic violence case? Remember when it felt like that investigation had been going on forever? Well, it’s nowhere close to being done. Ezekiel Elliott had his appeal this week and filed a lawsuit against the NFL yesterday. Which means that this case is going to go on for a lot longer and it’s going to get a lot uglier. And more confusing, so STRAP IN!

A lawsuit from Elliott’s side was always expected, but the expectation was that it would be something in the procedural vein, not in the conspiratorial vein. But that’s exactly what the suit is about. That’s not reading between the lines, either. That is a line from the suit: that “there was a League-orchestrated conspiracy by senior NFL executives, including NFL Senior Vice President and Special Counsel for Investigations Lisa Friel, to hide critical information, which would completely exonerate Elliott.” 

Uhhhh, what? A league-orchestrated conspiracy by senior NFL executives to hide critical information on Elliott?

And that’s not all. They claim that NFL Director of Investigations Kia Roberts believed that the victim “was not credible in her allegations of abuse,” that there wasn’t evidence to back up the claims, and Roberts recommended that there be no suspension at all.

So how do we get from the NFL Director of Investigations recommending no suspension to six games for Elliott? Well, according to Elliott’s petition, Roberts was intentionally barred from the meeting where Friel recommended a six-game suspension. Barring the NFL Director of Investigations, the only lead investigator who interviewed the victim, from a meeting about discipline? That’s a little weird. And by a little weird, I mean, really, really, really weird.

And raises all sorts of questions – like what the hell is the league doing? No, seriously, what the hell are they doing? I know their recent track record with investigations is less than awesome, but there’s no way they could butcher this one this badly, right? There’s no way they could take a year to investigate a star running back, smash him with a six-game suspension, only for it to be revealed later that the league’s Director of Investigations didn’t believe he should be suspended at all, right? Please tell me there’s no way that’s possible.

Why would someone in the league office involved in an investigation ignore the NFL Director of Investigations and then intentionally bar the NFL Director of Investigations from attending what appeared to be a crucial meeting about an NFL investigation? I would think that when you’re sitting down for a meeting about an NFL investigation, you do a quick look around the room, maybe take attendance and see if the NFL Director of Investigations is here for the meeting on the NFL investigation. That would be like having a football game without an actual football and nobody at the game thinking that was odd.

I mean they have to have learned from Ray Rice, or bountygate, or the deflated footballs, right? According to Elliott’s camp, no.

If that’s all true, this is going to make Deflategate look like a church picnic. Because that was about deflated footballs. This is about domestic violence. That is not something you mess around with, but to hear Elliott’s side of things, that’s exactly what the league did. The league will have a chance to respond and maybe when they do, we’ll get more clarity, and maybe it will be clear that what Elliott’s camp alleges didn’t actually happen, but in the meantime, I don’t really know what to believe. Except to believe that this case isn’t even close to over. And to ask, if true, how can the league continue to jack up all these investigations as badly as they have.

They’ve looked bad in the past, but if this is true, I’m not sure they’ve looked any worse.  If you’re not talking to the only person who spoke to the accuser at length, it makes it seem as if you’re really not interested in finding out what actually happened.

Ezekiel Elliott’s appeal of his suspension has been heard and the decision has been announced. Arbitrator Harold Henderson ruled that the six-game suspension will stay in place. So that means he’s out for Week One, right? Ehhhhh, let’s not get into that just yet.

Actually, he is available Week One. He’s suspended for six games, but he’s still eligible for Week One. Wait, what? Because of the timing of the appeal and the decision, Elliott will still be allowed to play in the season opener against the Giants on Sunday night. Right, because that makes sense.

Apparently on some level it does. Take a seat because it’s about to get a little confusing. You ready for this? The NFL Players Association filed a motion last week for a temporary restraining order to block the league’s six game suspension. At the same time, Elliott was appealing the suspension. The suspension was upheld yesterday, but also yesterday, there was a hearing on that restraining order and the results are expected Friday, but in the meantime, the league announced that Elliott will be eligible to play, even if the restraining order is denied.

So to recap: Elliott is still suspended, but he’s eligible right now. And the players association has filed a restraining order to block the suspension, but the league has said even if the restraining order to block the suspension is blocked, they’ll still honor it and let him play on Sunday.

So what does it all mean? Elliott will play Sunday night against the Giants and then who knows? If the judge denies his restraining order against the league, he would be expected to serve his suspension in Games 2 through 7, but Elliott’s team has indicated that he would also sue the league during the suspension. And if the judge allows the restraining order? Then the expectation is that the suspension would be delayed, Elliott would keep playing, and would still sue the league.

In other words, this isn’t over yet. And might not even be close to being over. Fantastic. Because that’s just what the league needs – another long-running discipline saga with one set of lawsuits after another where you have to be at least a second-year law student to figure out what exactly is happening.

We’ve been down this road before with deflated footballs and now we’re heading down it with much more serious issues… There are no jokes to be had here. No zingers about deflated balls or a guy who lost a lot of weight being nicknamed the Deflator. This is just bad. And no matter what happens, there are no winners.

Sunday’s match-up between the Broncos and Cowboys, looked to be one of the better match ups of the early season. Two Super Bowl contenders locking horns in Week 2. Dallas’ punch you in the face rushing attack and against one of the league’s best defenses. Denver’s rebuilt offensive line against an improved Cowboys defense.

Well…that’s all out the window after the Broncos just curb stomped the Cowboys, 42-17.  The very definition of a hospital job.

The Broncos went straight bully with it, dotting Dallas’ eye, ripping their lunch money and hanging them by their fruit of the looms on a locker for everyone to laugh at.

Denver converted 9 of 15 third downs while Dallas only moved the chains 3 times on 14 attempts. And with the game already locked down, Broncos corner Aqib Talib took a victory lap with 53 seconds left — a 103 yard interception return that may as well have included a bottle of Crystal and a Cuban Cigar.

Maximum disrespect. And the only regret Talib had was that the party had to stop in the bleachers. “I wanted to run all the way up in the stands and go get me a hot dog,” Talib said postgame. “That was my initial plan.”

The Broncos are for real. Vance Joseph has got himself a gang of bullies. And after watching Denver absolutely shut down Ezekiel Elliott — holding him to 8 yards on 9 carries — doing something that not even the commissioner of the NFL can do — the defense that carried Peyton Manning to a Super Bowl win is back.

“We put the league on notice that we’re for real,” linebacker Brandon Marshall said. “There’s no defense in the NFL like us.”

There might not be. Because I didn’t think that anybody could do that to the Cowboys offensive line. I didn’t think anybody could slow down Zeke — a guy who started his career looking like Adrian Peterson in his prime, and spent yesterday looking like Adrian Peterson for the Saints. Eight Yards? EIGHT.

And maybe the worst part wasn’t getting shut down, but straight-up QUITTING in the middle of the third quarter after Chris Harris picked off Dak Prescott. Not my words, but LaDainian Tomlinson, who said on the NFL Network that Elliott did quit on his teammates. And I agree with him. Horrible sign and an even worse look for him. That’s the first sign of adversity that Elliott’s seen on the field and he handled it every bit as poorly as you’d expect. Say what you want about the off-field stuff, and the horrible and immature decisions he’s made there. But on the field, the guy always balled. Yesterday he was pouting on the bench like some kid whose fidget spinner just broke.

Fact is, Dallas isn’t as good as we all thought they were and Denver is better. The Denver dee is obviously Super Bowl caliber and if Trevor Siemian continues to sling it the way he did yesterday, this guy is more than just a game manager. Instead of hoping he won’t get them beat, the Broncos can now expect him to make the type of plays that enable them to win.

As for Elliott, he is now officially a disaster both on and off the field. There’s an excuse to shut down and not true. You can go a single minute talking to any player without them saying they only worry about those things they can control. Well, effort is one of the only things you CAN control. So there’s never any excuse not have Max effort. And Elliott showed very little yesterday.

My man, you’re enough of a distraction off the field, last thing you want is to become one on the field. And now you have.

Jerry Jones defended Ezekiel Elliott and his effort against Denver after Jason Garrett called him out for it. Because. Of course, Jerrah did. Except no one else is.

Look, I don’t buy this nonsense that he’s a young player. And that he had never experienced that kind of failure before. Right, he had a bad day. They were getting their  asses kicked up and down the field. They locked him up. Who cares. It happens. Deal with it.

But you don’t go into a funk and just shut down. Do your job. And your job includes turning into a defender when the quarterback throws a pick, not standing there with your hands on your hips and watching everyone else go back the other way. That’s’ not doing your job. And it’s incredible that it’s something you still have to learn at the NFL level.  How the hell was that not addressed already, somewhere along the way. Like, I don’t know, the first time you ever put on pads? Isn’t that the first thing you learn as an athlete.  Never. Ever. Quit. And that while so many things are out of your control and you can’t worry about them, about the only things you can control are your effort and attitude.

Do you really have to pull a guy like that aside and address something like that? Talk about something like that?!. You have to tell your bell cow, bust your ass, every play.  Don’t ever quit on any play or your teammates no matter what the scoreboard says.  That’s really something you still have to address at that level? You shouldn’t, but in this guy’s case, you do.

Needless to say, they have a helluva lot they need to address with Ezekiel Elliott. Off the field. But I never thought they’d have to tell him not to quit on plays and his teammates on it. But obviously they do.

And stop with this crap about that it happened because he’s so competitive. Competitors don’t quit. That’s the lamest take of all, he quit because he’s competitive. Because that makes sense. Right and RG III isn’t playing football because he’s so good at football.

After watching last night’s game, I only have one thing to say. How ‘bout them Cowboys!

Of course that’s not what anyone was thinking in the first quarter as Dallas was getting absolutely steamrolled. Just three offensive plays in the opening 15 minutes and instead of “how ‘bout them Cowboys?” It was “who the hell are these Cowboys?” These weren’t the guys who were expected to repeat as NFC East Champs and make a deep run. They were stomped in Denver and were getting crushed in Arizona. Suddenly, that offensive line didn’t look so dominant, Dez Bryant looked like he was fading, and Ezekiel Elliott looked average. Jerry Jones had to be lower than a crippled cricket’s ass.

It was time to get out the shovels and start burying the Cowboys.

And then Dak Prescott happened. And all of that changed.

He’s definitely had better games from a statistical standpoint, but I’m not sure he’s had many bigger football games. On the road. Coming off a bad loss. And risking the possibility of falling to 1-2 on the season, Dak came up huge. He was the one who put the team on his back.13 of 18 for 183 yards and two touchdowns isn’t going to win you many fantasy leagues. But it will win you an actual football games.

Yes, I said win you the game. Because this wasn’t a matter of playing it safe and not losing it. There’s nothing safe about rolling out and firing bombs. My man looked like Brett Favre out there at times.

So much for the rap that this guy is just a game-manager. He was the game-winner last night. Yes, Ezekiel Elliott had 80 yards, but this wasn’t about Dak turning and handing off. And yes, Dez had a touchdown, but aside from that, he was taken out of the game by Patrick Peterson. Last night’s win was all about Dak, starting with his absurd opening touchdown.

That’s your franchise quarterback flipping over two defenders and into the end zone. If that doesn’t get you fired up, nothing will. And it shook the Cowboys out of a funk that went back to last week.

Then, in the third quarter, he hit Dez Bryant with a pass and, well, this happened.

Dez turned into some kind of Transformer and bulldozed half the Cardinals defense into the end zone. But again…this wasn’t about Dez carrying the team, because that play aside, he was pretty much taken out of the game by Pat Peterson.

Which is why in the fourth quarter, when it mattered the most, it was the Dak and Brice Butler show, with Dak just going off. Firing one rocket after another, while on the run, to Butler. There was the 39-yard touchdown.

And then the 53-yard bomb that set up an Ezekiel Elliott touchdown that iced the game. I’m not sure what’s more impressive, that he unleashed those lasers on the run, or that he made them look so easy. Because they aren’t. At least not for most quarterbacks, but then, Dak isn’t most quarterbacks. That had been the thought coming into the season. Good quarterback, good game-manager, smart guy. He’ll get you into the right plays and then turn it over to the real studs, like Ezekiel, Dez, and Jason to actually win games for the Cowboys. Dak won’t lose you a game, but he won’t win you one either. And that couldn’t be more wrong.

He is a flat out stud and a flat out winner. And if you didn’t know before last night, you know now.

Let’s be clear: Usually scoring a go-ahead touchdown in the 59th minute of a football game is a good thing. Usually scoring with 73 seconds left in a football game means you’ve got the game on lockdown. Usually a 17-play, 79-yard drive that takes 8 MINUTES and 43 SECONDS is the story of the ball game, especially when Dak Prescott ends the drive like THIS:

But not when Aaron Rodgers is on the other sideline. And not when the Pack are in Jerry World. Because for the second time in nine months, Rodgers had the ball in his hands in the game’s final minute. And for the second time in nine months he ripped the heart out of the Cowboys chest.

Down 3, 73 seconds. No Jordy Nelson. No Ty Montgomery. No starting left tackle. Doesn’t matter. Put the ball in Number 12s hands and the Pack are gonna win. Especially if they’re playing America’s team.

A perfect back-shoulder throw to Davante Adams. A quick toss to Marty B takes them across mid-field. Two snaps and the entire stadium already knew what was coming. A draw play takes the Packers to the 32, now they’re within Mason Crosby’s range. At this point, every Cowboy fan on the planet would’ve conceded the field goal and taken their shot in overtime. And then Rodger’s converted a 3rd-and-8 with his feet, shaking loose of TWO tacklers then high-stepping it down the sideline. And after taking a shot at Adams on the fade in the end zone, Rodgers had the same look and the same coverage. And this time, he didn’t miss:

How many times do we have to tell the same story? A beat-up Packers team walks into somebody else’s house. Patchwork O-line. Some new guy at running back. Receiving corp beat to hell — a game winner to a guy taken off on a BOARD just 10 days ago. And they walk out winners because the guy behind center for the Packers is better than everybody else.

The only thing surprising about that comeback was that it wasn’t surprising at all. It was expected. The Cowboys knew it was coming, too. You legitimately could’ve made an argument that the Cowboys were better off having Zeke take a knee at the 1, and then roll the dice that Zeke could ram it in — just so they never gave the ball back. Hell, Dak acknowledged the dilemma after the game: “I mean you’re playing with fire with trying to do that I mean those guys get paid on defense too so if your running out trying to get it to 3^rd down and you’re trying to waste the time it’s a slippery slope there so for us it’s important to get in the end zone and put the pressure on them and trust the defense.”

EHHHH! Wrong answer, Dak.

Look, to nobody plays the position like Aaron Rodgers. Nobody carries his team the way 12 does the Packers. And as long as there’s time on the clock and the ball is in his hands, he’s every defense’s worse nightmare. And yesterday afternoon, with the Cowboys BADLY needing a W on their home turf, Rodgers proved once more than he’s the baddest man on the planet. That he’s a true Cowboys killa.

Now that’s some Kryp’nite.

Jerry Jones has threatened to sue the NFL if a contract extension for Roger Goodell is approved by the league’s compensation committee. He says he will sue the other owners on that committee personally, if they go through with this. Uh oh!

What exactly is he so pissed about?. Well, for one, that Goodell suspended Ezekiel Elliott. And the way he handled anthem protests, the moving of two franchises to L.A., and his explanation of declining TV ratings.

But pretty much, just that the commissioner suspended Jones’ most important player: so, Jones would love to off Goodell. Not only because he’s pissed, but because he could then look to replace him with his own candidate, which in effect, would make the Jones the commissioner himself, and give him even more power: something if you ask the other owners, he already has way too much of it.

Question is, does he have a strong legal case to stand on? Probably not. He himself was one of the people in favor of the process in place for negotiating a deal with Goodell.  He’s the single most powerful owner in the league but he’s going to need some help to get this guy run and I’m not sure he has it. Or enough of it.

Jerry Jones has had himself a couple of days, hasn’t he? Threatening to sue his fellow owners, losing Ezekiel Elliott, and then getting smashed 27-7 by the Falcons. Everyone has a case of the Mondays, but at this point, my man has to be feeling lower than a crippled cricket’s ass.

Where do you want to start? With the absurdity of one owner threating to sue other owners or the absurdity of the vaunted Dallas offensive line getting taken to the cleaners by the Falcons?

Let’s do the latter, because as much as Dallas missed Ezekiel Elliott, I’m going to go ahead and say they missed left tackle Tyron Smith a whole lot more, because Atlanta’s Adrian Clayborn just embarrassed Dallas without him. Not one, not two, not three, not four, not five, but six sacks. That’s a season in a single game. Actually, that’s more than Clayborn’s had in each of the last five seasons and he had it in 60 minutes yesterday. He straight abused them.

Chaz Green replaced Tyron Smith and I’m not sure what’s the more damaging quote. This one from Troy Aikman after one sack, “That’s a pretty embarrassing play. That’s about as bad as I’ve seen someone get beat in all my years watching football.”

Or this one from Clayborn himself: “I only have one move and it worked.”

So Clayborn was just running the same move over and over and over again. And getting to Dak Prescott every time. That move was practically Kareem’s sky-hook or Mariano’s cutter, because Dallas had no chance against it. And while the blocking might have been garbage, they weren’t garbage time sacks. He had a pair of strip-sacks, two that pushed Dallas out of field goal range, and two that came on third down.

Sue his fellow owners? After that game, Jerry had to be thinking about suing his offensive line and his offensive line coach.

But speaking of lawsuits, there’s no way he’s actually serious about suing the other owners, right? That has to be Jerry just being Jerry, jumping into the spotlight and stirring it up a bit, because that’s what he does better than anyone. Well, one source told MMQB that “There is little question in my mind that Jerry Jones wants to overthrow Roger Goodell.” Overthrow!?!? Seriously? Is this a football league or a small country?

Apparently Jerry’s really bent about how much money Roger Goodell might make in his new deal. And I’d get into the details of the deal, the compensation committee meetings, and Jerry’s status as an ad hoc member, but there really is nothing more boring than billionaires fighting with millionaires over money, unless it’s billionaires threatening to sue other billionaires over a millionaire’s money.

And you can try to convince me that this isn’t about Roger Goodell suspending Jerry’s star player, Ezekiel Elliott, but that’s going to take a lot of convincing. Because Jerry voted to give Goodell an extension back in May and then changed his tune after Elliott’s suspension was announced in August. When Tom Brady was getting suspended, he didn’t really seem to have a problem with Goodell or the discipline system, but when it was his guy, he suddenly has a lot of problems. When it’s his guy, he’s reportedly telling owners on the compensation committee that he has “papers drawn up” to sue them if they don’t kick the contract back to the rest of the 32 owners.

I’ll be honest, I don’t care about Roger Goodell’s compensation or really about owners suing other owners. And I’m not sure how much Cowboys fans care about it either. But I do know that they care about the fact that they’re 5-4, they haven’t won a Super Bowl in more than 20 years, and if the season ended right now, they’d miss the playoffs. They care a lot more about that than they do about how much the commissioner gets paid and maybe, just maybe, Jerry should be more focused on that than threatening lawsuits.

AND WHAT DO YOU THINK BOB KRAFT IS THINKING RIGHT ABOUT NOW: He had arguably the best player ever suspended; not a running back, but a quarterback; and maybe the best one ever. And they had a first and a fourth ripped from them; and a million dollar fine; and for what??? Deflating some footballs. Maybe. And Kraft pretty much had to sit back and take it.

And you can bet Jones probably told him to as well: be a good partner, Bob!! Suck it up bob. Yet, when it happens to Jones, and it’s not over deflating footballs, but rather domestic violence allegations, he’s not sucking it up, or being a good partner, he’s looking to sue his partners. And overthrow the same commissioner that he probably told Kraft to respect. That’s pretty rich. And I guarantee Kraft thinks so.

The commissioner isn’t your problem. Nor the reason, you haven’t won a Super Bowl in more than 20 years. And believe me, Jerry going rogue isn’t’ going to get them any closer to that goal either.

So to recap the last few days for Jerry Jones: he’s threatened to sue his fellow owners, has seen his star running back suspended, watched his quarterback get sacked a billion times in a blowout loss to Atlanta, was reported to have threatened to come after Roger Goodell “with everything I have,” supposedly said Patriots owner Bob Kraft is a “bleep compared to what I’m going to do,” had to apologize for a racially insensitive remark, and then watched his team get humiliated by a division rival on television in the worst loss in the house that he built. That’s one hell of ride.

And the crazy thing is, it didn’t look like it was going to end that way last night. At halftime, everything was coming up Jerry. Dallas was winning 9-7, they were shutting down Philly’s vaunted offense, and he was getting his Hall of Fame ring. He even talked at halftime about how he wanted to make the league better and how he wanted Goodell to “provide unprecedented accountability to the ownership.”

Life was good for Jerry at that point. Sweet new ring, beating the division leaders in primetime, he might as well have said, “Hey, Rog, scoreboard! Look up at it! Tell me how my ass tastes.”

And then it all fell apart. The Eagles came out at halftime and just ripped apart the Cowboys, scoring 30 unanswered points, stomping all over Dallas, and ruining Jerry’s party. They went on scoring drives of 75 yards, 90 yards, and 85 yards.

And every time the cameras cut back to the owner’s box, Jerry’s night was getting worse and worse. It was hard to know what took a worse beating last night, Jerry’s team or his pride. Call it a tie. I’m surprised that his head didn’t explode at one point.

And the worst part for Cowboys fans is that Philadelphia beat Dallas in every way, shape and form. There was nothing lucky or fluky about it. On the ground, they had a season-high 215 rushing yards. They ran over Dallas and they ran through them. And when the Cowboys had a shot at bringing down Carson Wentz, he just shook off would-be tacklers and kept on hitting passes. And the Eagles defense forced Dak Prescott into the worst passer rating of his career before his backup took over. Philly went into Dallas and essentially shut down the division before Thanksgiving.

But last night wasn’t about the Eagles or the Cowboys, it was about the guy who said that he wanted “to be inspirational to our players, my players. And I want them to know that I’ll do everything I can to help the Dallas Cowboys and help the NFL, and they should benefit from that.”

Problem is, I’m not exactly sure how inspirational he is. I don’t know that the Cowboys players were distracted by any of the outside noise involving Jerry, but I don’t get the sense they were inspired by it. I doubt they were in the locker room saying, “let’s go out there and win one for that guy who’s dropping p-bombs on Bob Kraft!”

For as much ink as Jerry gets, that Hall of Fame ring is the first ring he’s won in more than two decades. In that same time, New England has a fistful, Denver has three, the Ravens have two, the Giants have two, and teams like the Rams, the Bucs, the Colts, and the Seahawks have more than the Cowboys. Jerry gets a lot of run, but he doesn’t get a lot of wins.

It may be true that nobody wants to win more than Jerry and it’s also true that nobody’s won less and generated more pub than Jerry.

I’d say that last night was a disaster for him, but maybe it wasn’t. Because the story wasn’t about the Cowboys, it was about Jerry. And if it’s about Jerry, that’s just fine with Jerry. If you want drama, Jerry’s your man. If you want winning football teams, look elsewhere. And if you expect that to change, that’s on you, not on Jerry.

After getting stomped by the Falcons, Eagles, and Chargers, and failing to score double-digits in each of those games, the last thing the Dallas Cowboys could afford was another nationally televised beatdown. Lose to Washington like that, in primetime, and we might have actually seen Jerry Jones get so overheated he goes full Raiders of the Lost Ark face melt.

But fortunately for Jones, the Cowboys, and TV viewers, we never saw that in their 38-14 win. Because the Cowboys and their running game finally showed up. And because Washington didn’t show up at all. I know they’re banged up, but they played like a team that had something else on their minds or somewhere else to be. They didn’t even bother getting off the bus. They played like their season was already over. And now it is.

In fact, the first quarter couldn’t have looked any worse for either team and for the sport of football. Dallas 3-and-out followed by a Washington punt followed by a Dallas 3-and-out. Washington manages to put together a drive, only for a pass to clang off the hands of Jamison Crowder and into the mitts of Cowboys safety Jeff Heath. But yet again, Dallas couldn’t do anything and punted. And yet again, Crowder couldn’t give it back fast enough, this time fumbling the punt. What a brutal night for Crowder. In that sequence, the last two times he’d touched the ball, he’d turned it over.

Dallas recovered on the Washington 43 and surely they’d be able to get something out of this. And they did. They got one yard on three plays and punted.

At this point, it was clear Washington couldn’t give the game away fast enough and Dallas just didn’t want to take it. That first quarter was as ugly as any in the Cowboys losing streak. They couldn’t run. They couldn’t pass. They couldn’t do anything. Fortunately, they weren’t playing Atlanta, Philadelphia, or Los Angeles, teams that can make you pay for mistakes. They were playing Washington who was happy to match them, mistake for mistake.

But then, something changed. Dallas forced another punt, Dak Prescott went to work and finally found Jason Witten for this for their first touchdown.

Washington fumbled on the next drive, Dallas got a field goal, and then on the ensuing possession, Washington punted and then the wheels came off:

Switzer with the dagger. 17-0 Cowboys.

And the way that Kirk Cousins was running for his life, there was no way that Washington was getting back into that game. That doesn’t mean he didn’t try. He did. And if you had any doubt about the toughness of Cousins before that game, you shouldn’t anymore. Because he was getting absolutely wrecked, and just kept getting up and throwing punches. I’m no expert and I’m not going to tell Washington how to do their job, but if you think you can find a better quarterback than Kirk Cousins, you’re fooling yourself. And even if you did, he’d probably get killed behind that MASH unit of an offensive line.

But this wasn’t about Kirk Cousins, or about Washington. It was about Dallas, and Dak, who played through a jacked up hand. And Jason Garrett, who coached his way off the hot seat for a few days, and about Jerry Jones. Because trust me, if it’s about the Cowboys, it’s about Jerry Jones. Even if it’s not about Jerry Jones, Jerry Jones will make it about Jerry Jones.

And he was ready after the game with whatever you needed. Want a medical opinion on Dak’s hand? Jerruh’s here: “You could tell that it was very swollen. It actually looked like he started throwing better after it swelled up. But that’s him. He’s such a competitor, and his team knows it. He’s a leader out there.”

Want a full analysis of the game and the team’s playoff chances? He’s got that, too: “You’re talking to a dreamer, so yes. It’s not hard for me to look at the way we played, the way we answered the bell, the way we answered the bell in the second half with the players we got. We do get Sean Lee back by all measure and we will have players back as we look ahead. … Any of these teams in the NFL can beat you, but I think we’ve got a good chance as I look ahead certainly no further than our next ballgame. But we’ve got a good chance to be better after this game.”

I’m not sure what he actually meant with that word salad, but I’m guessing he’s not feeling lower than a crippled cricket’s ass. For one night, he and his crew didn’t get embarrassed on national TV and he’s happy about it.

Ezekiel Elliott is back with the Cowboys and he was back on the practice field yesterday for the first time since November 3^rd. Teammates raved about how he looked, his energy, and his attitude. From the way they talked, you could tell they were excited to have him back.

Dak Prescott: “So I’m sure, like I said, I know it motivated him just watching the game and watching his teammates and his boys go out there and play. Obviously, him wanting to be out there, I know it lit a fire in him. And just seeing him in the way he’s been performing in coming back, you can tell.”

Zack Martin: “He obviously brings a lot of energy, and it’s great to have him back. He looks in great shape, looks ready to go, so it’ll be exciting to see him play on Sunday.”

Elliott also met with the media. And well, that didn’t go nearly as well. Normally, I wouldn’t play his whole interaction with the media because it would take too much time. But in this case, time is not a concern at all. Because Elliott hit that media session like a hole that was about to close.

I love his attempt at the beginning to declare that he’s turning the page and that “I’m not talking about it anymore. This is the last time you’ll hear me speak about it. So please don’t even ask me about it.” 

You just came back from a six week suspension; they can’t not ask you about it. That is THE story. The return of Ezekiel Elliott. It’s the biggest story of the week for the team. What did you think they were going to ask about? The game plan against the Seahawks? Your documentary? Oh, wait, they did, and you butchered that answer, too.

Honestly, the first question and answer isn’t that bad. But after that, it gets bad in a hurry. For no particular reason. Here’s the transcript:

Can you talk about what you’ve been doing the last six weeks?

“No.”

What message do you want people to get from watching the documentary?

“Just watch it. Tell me the message you get.”

When is it coming out?

“I don’t know.”

What went into some of your conditioning?

“I’m ready to talk about the Seattle Seahawks. I’m ready to talk about the Dallas Cowboys. I’m not speaking on that anymore.”

Why don’t you want to talk about that six-week stretch?

“Alright, I’m done. Thank you.” 

I’m not here to critique Elliott’s interactions with the media. He can handle it any way he wants to. But I am going to say, that’s probably not the best way.

I know he doesn’t want to talk about his suspension, but that’s part of the game here. You come back on your first day, you talk about it, you answer questions about it, and then you can say that you’ll never talk about it again. Handle that well, and maybe it goes away. But try to shove it away, insist on not talking about it, and it becomes a bigger thing. Especially when you’re asked, “Why don’t you want to talk about that six-week stretch?” And then answer with “Alright, I’m done. Thank you.”

Look, nobody wants to talk about a six-week suspension, but it’s not like these were tough, soul-searching questions. You weren’t being grilled here. You were being asked questions like “can you talk about what you’ve been doing the last six weeks?” That’s a reporter who just wanted a little info and is giving you a very broad, very general question. You could’ve taken that in any number of directions. You could talk about your training, you could talk about how frustrating it was to be sitting out and unable to help your team, hell, you could even talk about your documentary.

And speaking of that, two of those six questions were specifically about your documentary, two chances to plug this project that you were working on while you were away, and you swatted them away. What’s the point of making a documentary if you don’t want people to know when it’ll be out or what you want people to take away from it?

The last five questions were: one about what you’ve done the last six weeks, two about the documentary one about what he’s done regarding conditioning, and one about why he doesn’t want to talk about the last six weeks. And then he was gone.

Again, I get it. If I were him, that suspension would be the last thing I’d want to talk about. Being out for six weeks cannot have been fun, but finish the run. Answer the questions, then move on. Or don’t answer the questions, sabotage your rep a little more, and let all of this linger longer. Your call. And you made the wrong one. And you handled this all wrong, pretty much like you have most things off the field. So if anyone was hoping this guy did some serious soul searching and came back a changed dude. He didn’t.

Another day, another athlete getting hooked on social media. Today’s sucker. Dez Bryant.

There’s been a ton of speculation about Dez’s future in Dallas. Is he the player he once was? Are they going to bring him back? Are they going to bring him back and make him take a pay cut. Could they cut him outright? Is that Stephen Jones cracking him? Is that Stephen’s old man hyping him. What’s going to happen to Dez? No one really knows.  And everyone is looking for a sign. And it appeared that Dez gave it to them when he  ‘grammed a photo of him in a Cowboys gamer, with a caption that simply read: “X”

So…was he looking to send some cryptic, subliminal message with the X? Exactly what did Dez mean by that. I don’t know. But what it means and what it turned out to be are two totally different things, but what it turned out to be was a bullseye for every troll on the Internet to take aim. Because they did. And next thing he knows, his notifications are stacked with hate and people killing him for wanting out to Dallas. Not ideal, but knowing Dez, we know he handled this the right way…. but setting the phone done and just ignoring the whole thing.

EHHHHHH!!! SURE HE DIDN’T!

Yeah right. He actually flipped over to Twitter to vent the hell out. He tweeted:

“WTF are wrong with you people? I posted a BLEEPING picture… BLEEP starting to piss me off now… it’s me in a Dallas Cowboys uniform…where I belong… get a life please lol.”

He’s since deleted the tweet, but come on Dez, you know by now. The Internet… is…. in… ink. You cannot erase it. You could delete your twitter account altogether but not the tweets you thumbed out from it before you nuked it. How this guy doesn’t know this at this point, is a miracle to me. How anyone with a blue check next to their name doesn’t know this by now is a miracle.

As if Dallas didn’t already have enough distractions and problems with Jerruh beefing with Rojah, Zeke Elliott getting suspended and the team watching the playoffs from the couch once again. The last thing they need is for their star wideout to get hooked by I.G. trolls.

Again. You’re not a rookie anymore. You’ve been around long enough, played with that star on the side of your helmet long enough; you understand how this goes. Or at least you should. At this point in your career, we shouldn’t have to spell this out for you. But luckily some dude named @Rob_N_Yeezy on Twitter did, tweeting  at Dez  “Stop reading comments. Not hard, bruh.” There he is. The smartest dude on the internet. Rob N Yeezy. Stop reading comments. Not hard, bru.

That tweet should be plastered onto a sign that players have to slap every time they leave the locker room. You know like instead of “Play Like a Champion Today” it’s now “Stop reading comments. Not hard, bruh.”

Dez actually retweeted that tweet and said: “I’m getting texted messages. I don’t give a damn for the most part.”

Hold up. You don’t give a damn for the most part? You literally said “BLEEP starting to piss me off now” in your deleted tweet. I mean, damn what the hell would happen if you DID give a damn?!

Let this be a message to you Dez. And every athlete everywhere. If you’re not going to listen to me, listen to Rob Yeezy.

“Stop reading comments. Not hard, bruh.”